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When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. Ernest Hemingway

45 year old Judy revealed in an anger management class that she was constantly angry at her husband.  When asked why, she revealed that the fact that she has a home based business that she is building has always conflicted with her on whether to spend time with her husband or to create a better quality of  life for the family.

She loved her husband but she also enjoyed what she was doing to contribute to the family. She felt he was create a better quality of life, more money and more time. However she resented her husband becoming more demanding and upset when she spent needed time with her business instead of being with him.

Judy revealed that she dealt with the situation by ignoring her husband when he expressed displeasure – with disastrous results. These included constant bickering and tension in the home as well as emotional distance from each other.

How much better the outcome would have been had Judy used basic skills of assertive communication.

What is assertive communication?

It is a way to communicate to your friends, your team and to your family your rights, feelings and needs- but in a good way. It is a method of letting peopel know where you stand on things and what your limits and boundaries are.

Assertive communication allows you to clarify communication and stand up for yourself without making things worse or getting a negative result or response from your team and loved ones.

Four Steps to Assertive Communication:

Step 1- Send clear messages

Turns out Judy had never clearly told her husband how she felt when he put pressure on her to spend time with him instead of her buisness. When she did discuss it, she hemmed, hawed and stammered with almost no eye contact.

As a result her husband was not getting a clear message. To communicate clearly, look at your posture and your facial expressions, as well as your hand and arm movements. Pay special attention to your tone of voice which can say volumes beyond your words. Research shows that Only 7% is conveyed in the words we use. 38% is conveyed in the voice, it’s quality, use of tone and inflections and 55% of communication is conveyed by the body language we use, i.e.; Use of eye contact, gestures and facial expressions.

Step 2 – Learn how to listen

Assertive people have developed their listening skills. While hearing is done with your ears, true listening is done with your heart. To be a better communicator, start by becoming a better listener. God has created us with one mouth but 2 ears and 2 eyes. That is what i calla clue! it is better to listen and see then it is to talk. Listen with your heart feel the emotions of others.

Much silence makes a powerful noise. proverb

Step 3 – Start the conversation with “I feel” rather than “you should.”

Words have tremendous power to determine how other people experience us, and how they respond to an issue. For this reason, people with good assertive communication skills focus on the problem behavior (and not the character of the person), stick to the point, don’t use labels, and make “I” statements rather than “you” statements.

Judy tried this with her husband and it worked very well.  Here is what she said: “Honey, I love you and want to be with you, but I also want to work to help contribute to the family. Could you get along without me for a hour or two a night? I’ll try to always be done by 8:30 PM.”

The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. Josh Billings

Step 4 – Acknowledge your part in the conflict or issue

Anger is often an escalating process, involving two people who create a negative feeling in each other, sometimes instantly and sometimes over a long period of time.

It is natural to blame another family member entirely for the problem, especially when we are angry or in a defensive mode.

But, once we return to normal, the assertive communicator is able to accept some of the responsibility for the conflict. This acceptance and acknowledgement of your contribution to the problem is an indication of emotional maturity and can create an entirely different atmosphere between conflicting issues.

Try saying the following things to promote communication:

– My reactions were too extreme. I’m sorry. – Even though I still feel I was right about the issue, my reaction wasn’t right and I apologize. – I never thought of things that way. – Let me start again in a different way. – I can see my part in all this.

To Judy’s delight, when she practiced saying some of these things to her husband in a loving way, he began changing too. Almost immediately, he became less demanding, more understanding, and more aligned with her so both of them could work the buisness together.

Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals. J. Isham

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Recently I was on Facebook trying to figure out what I was going to post to the world and I thought of five questions that I am asked often about leadership.bigstockphoto_Leadership_798680

This article gives a short answer to each of these important questions. Along with some of the response I got back from the world of Facebook.

 

What is a true Leader?

– A leader is a person who sees something that needs to be done, knows that they can help make it happen, and gets started.
– A leader sees opportunity and captures it.
– A leader sees a future that can be different and better, and helps others see that picture too.
– A leader knows they can’t do it alone.
– A leader is a coach.
– A leader is an encourager.
– A leader views change as their ally.
– A leader is willing to take risks today for something better tomorrow.
– A leader is a learner.
– A leader is a communicator.
– A leader is a coordinator.
– A leader is a listener.
– A leader takes a long view – letting their vision keep their daily steps on track.
– A leader is passionate.
– A leader motivates and inspires.
– A leader values results.
– A leader cares about more than results though; they care about those who are following there lead.
– A leader makes a difference in the lives of others.
– A leader is all of these things and much more.

If Your Actions Inspire Others To Dream More, Learn More, Do More, And Become More, You Are A Leader. “John Quincy Adams”

Are People Born Leaders?

FACEBOOK Friends — Yes in deed People are born Leaders and then they’re taught and conditioned to believe otherwise. John Di Lemme says “Champions are born Losers are made” “Sly Corley”

FACEBOOK Friends — Yup! I’ve never met a leader in the grave “Robin Viray”

FACEBOOK Friends — It Depends. Everyone is born with specific gifts and talents if being a leader is one , then that gift would need the right nourishing, training to help enhance the effectiveness. “Kevin Williams”

FACEBOOK Friends — No they are born and become leaders. Unless they are twins when one comes out they can look back and see he or she is being followed. They are a leader. “Justin Murphy”

FACEBOOK Friends — People are sheep. They follow. Mostly. What are we doing next, sir? “Mark Bock”

Sure they are – I mean everyone is born, right?

You might say that riddle-like answer misses the point. You say the real answer is that some people are truly born to lead. And I would reply that your common statement implies that others aren’t born to be leaders.

So let’s examine that difference of opinion…

When people describe someone as a “born leader” they typically mean that the person is motivating, a good communicator and charismatic. And it is true; some people are blessed at birth with more natural ability in these ways.

But leaders can be great with different innate characteristics as well.

And there is no single small skill set that defines the perfect leader or guarantees success. Everyone is born with a unique set of natural abilities. And all of us can develop skills and styles to complement those natural abilities.

Leaders Are Made; They Are Not Born. They Are Made By Hard Effort, Which Is The Price Which All Of Us Must Pay To Achieve Any Goal That Is Worthwhile . “Vincent Lombardi”

 

Who is a Leader?

FACEBOOK Friends — Everyone is a leader… it’s just that many people are not aware of it. If a person is the head of a family, you’re a leader. If you coach a sports team, you’re a leader. If a person is responsible for others, you’re a leader. leadership comes in many atmospheres and is handled differently for different situations but it is the knowledge and wisdom of GOD that makes leadership effective look at Solomon. I Am A Leader! “Kevin Williams”

FACEBOOK Friends — The leader is the one the others follow without question. “Rick Hoening”

FACEBOOK Friends — A person with the knowledge, integrity and vision to help others achieve their goals. “Steven Brokman”

FACEBOOK Friends — We all are leaders. If we haven’t realized our potential, we may think we’re not, but if you have ANY ability to influence, you’re a leader. So Mike, I’m a leader. “Brian Goodwin”

This question on the surface is the easiest question I’ve asked so far. After all, I’ve already given some examples.

People in certain roles are leaders, whether they’ve studied for the role, like a doctor, lawyer, teacher or minister… bigstockphoto_leadership_4888551got elected to the role, like a county councilman, mayor, Senator or President… or worked up the through the organization like a supervisor, manager, Vice President or CEO. You can ask most anyone the question “Who is a leader?” and those are the kinds of answers they will give you. They are right, of course. But they are only partially right. Leaders aren’t leaders because of a job title.

Leaders are leaders because they lead. This brings me back to the question above – “Are people born leaders?” Yes they are. But it isn’t just a few that have been hand picked by our Creator or random genetics.

We have all been picked – genetics has selected us all. We were all born to lead, in our own way. We may not be the Chairman of the Board. We may not be the person on the stage. We may not lead with oratory or flair. We may lead by compassion. We may lead by example.

We all can lead. We all have the ability to be remarkable leaders. Leadership isn’t about position. Leadership isn’t about power. Leadership is about potential – your potential.

 

What Makes A Great Leader?

FACEBOOK Friends — Someone who has the talent to connect with Others. “Wil Ogihara Gamboa”

FACEBOOK Friends — Humility + servant hood, vision + values “Robin Viray”

FACEBOOK Friends — Mike an employee has the Machete and is cutting the path through the forest. The manager is behind them making sure the blades are sharp. The leader is next to them at the top of the tallest tree making sure they are going the right direction. “Rick Silva”

FACEBOOK Friends — A leader establishes and clearly articulates the vision, thereby providing the model by which others can achieve it. The leader then supports the activity of others through reinforcement of the parameters of the vision to make sure everyone stays “on track”. “Kevin Bunn”

FACEBOOK Friends — I like honesty, integrity, and responsibility in a leader. If they know how they tell you; if they don’t they have the courage to admit it. It is pretty simple isn’t it. “Hg Smith”

A great cloud of jargon, debate, and junk theory surrounds the idea of leadership, what it is, who does it, and how to do it well. But if you have just been promoted, and you’re responsible for a group for the first time, there are only a few things you really need to know about leadership.

When you decide to play the role or become responsible for the performance of a group you become a leader. But you don’t undergo some magical change. In fact, it will probably take you over a year to completely adjust to your new role.

You’re a leader because the people in your group treat you like one. The only choice you have is what kind of leader you’ll be.

I believe that leadership is built out of a combination of strategy and great character. However If I was to choose which one you should be without I would have to say that strategy would be the one to be with out.

Before You Can Inspire With Emotion, You Must Be Swamped With It Yourself.

Before You Can Move Their Tears, Your Own Must Flow.

To Convince Them, You Must Yourself Believe.

“Sir Winston Churchill”

When you become a leader your power actually goes down. As an individual contributor, you just have to decide to work harder, longer or smarter to improve performance. When you’re responsible for the performance of a group, the group is your destiny. They choose whether to act or not.

When you become a leader, your influence goes up. The people who work for you pay attention to what you say and do. They adjust their behavior accordingly.

The result is that you use your behavior (what you say and do) to influence the behavior of the people who work for you to achieve a defined objective.

Leadership Is Practiced Not So Much In Words As In Attitude And In Actions. “Harold S. Geneen”

Achieving the objective is part of your job as a leader. The other part is caring for your people. It may be possible to achieve good short term results without caring for your people. But you can’t achieve long term success for you or your company without the willing cooperation of the best folks you can find.

At the end of the day, you can measure your leadership based on those two standards. Did we accomplish what we have set out to do? Are the members of my group better off today than yesterday?

The Real Leader Has No Need To Lead – He Is Content To Point The Way. “Henry Miller”

Why Does Leadership Matter?

FACEBOOK Friends — Leadership Makes Champions! “Fari Shields”

FACEBOOK Friends — Without leadership there is no one to follow, no one to learn from. With out a leader your team has no direction! “Justin Murphy”

FACEBOOK Friends — Leaders get the 1st pick “Peter Saparito”

FACEBOOK Friends — Without leaders, people perish “Robin Viray”

FACEBOOK Friends — A leader has been defined as one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. “Sandra D Brokman”

Parents universally hope that their children develop leadership qualities. They know that leaders are people who are effective in what they do, are respected by others, and typically rewarded for those skills in a variety of ways. It is in these formative years that, through our parents, we first see leadership as desirable and important.

As young people we look up to people around us that motivate and listen to us; people that seem like “real-life” heroes. We consider these people leaders.

The Best Method For Estimating The Intelligence Of A Ruler Is To Look At The Men He Has Around Him. “Niccolo Machiavelli

As we grow we begin to relate leaders to their jobs – ministers, successful business owners, entrepreneurs, teachers, police officers. And later Mayors, Presidents, and CEO’s . . .

As adults all of these thoughts and experiences define why we think leaders have desirable traits and play roles we admire (and why we desire these things for our children).

All of these experiences and thoughts help us define why leadership matters – it matters because leaders make a difference and can shape the future. It matters because leaders are valued and valuable. In everyone’s mind leadership, especially when it is good, matters. It is better to have a lion at the head of an army of sheep than it is to have a sheep at the head of an army of lions.

Leadership Is Getting Someone To Do What They Don’t Want To Do To Achieve What They Want To Achieve. “Tom Landry”

 

Now the Big Question, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

My answers to the five questions above lead to only a question for you to answer…

Do YOU want to be a Leader?

Do YOU see YOURSELF as a Leader?

Do Others see YOU as a Leader?

Do YOU feel that you are a Leader?

Your opportunities for leadership are endless. The rewards are boundless.

When, Where or How Will YOU Lead?

I believe YOU are a leader. Claim it and believe this to be true, for it is. Stake your claim and make a difference in the world around you.

Start With The Premise That The Function Of Leadership Is To Produce More Leaders, Not More Followers. Ralph Nader

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Things change unpredictably in everyone’s world. There is no pattern to many of the changes in our world. Forecasting and long-range planning are high-risk activities. Today we cannot guarantee more of the same of anything. About the only prediction we can safely assume is that things will always change!

caose

 

In this “Age of Unreason,” to use Charles Handy’s term, we must learn to think upside-down, inside-out, and backwards in order to cope with this unpredictable environment. The business writer Tom Peters calls this ability: “Thriving on Chaos.” To succeed, you must do more than cope with change, you must capitalize on it! Every change is an opportunity in disguise. Since you can’t stop change, you must learn to take advantage of it. Here are three suggestions.

 

1. Keep a positive attitude toward change. Although not all changes are good, we do have the freedom to choose our attitude. Change, even when it is negative, can be an ally if you take advantage of it and use it for good

2. Never stop learning. Never think you know it all. Stay humble and you’ll be surprised who you can learn from—friends, neighbors, kids, employees, clients, business associates and competitors, etc.

3. Stay flexible! Before glass bottles were invented, wine was kept in canteens made of animal skins. As they aged, they’d become brittle and crack from new wine that was still fermenting.  Here was his point: When faced with change, we must adjust or we’ll explode!

These are some basic principals to help maintain the chaos in your world

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“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you. ”

There are helpful ways and harmful ways to release your anger. For instance, sometimes we’d rather remain angry than admit to our anger.anger-management

Keep in mind: anger is not necessarily wrong. It only becomes wrong if we release it in a way that is inappropriate or destructive. My experience is that most of us learned to express our anger when we were two or three years old, and we’re still expressing our anger in the same way as adults. Needless to say, this simply doesn’t work.

Most people express their anger in such a way that they end up farther away from their goal than they were before they became angry. Anger, expressed inappropriately, has the opposite effect of producing the intended results.

Blowing up at people never produces lasting change; it only produces more anger and alienation. We know that but we still do it. It doesn’t produce lasting change.

Something to keep in mind is that anger is never really the root problem. It is usually a symptom that reveals one of three things that is happening: hurt, fear, frustration. These are the three things that make us angry, and this is why we should always stop and cool down. It allows us to think:

– Am I hurt?
– Am I afraid? Perhaps feeling threatened, or that I’m going to lose something of value?
– Or, am I frustrated?

Understanding the source of your anger will help you respond in an appropriate manner, so that your anger does not “lead you”.

“A rebel shouts in anger; a wise man holds his temper in and cools it” (Proverbs 29:11 TLB).

When you’re angry, don’t respond impulsively. Delay is a great tool in controlling anger. I’m not saying delay indefinitely, or even beyond a day; the Bible says don’t go to sleep when you’re angry. I’m talking about delaying it for five minutes.

When you start to get ticked off, you take ‘time out’ for a few minutes. Give yourself some time to stop, reflect and think it through. If you don’t stop and think, you are likely to do the wrong thing. You need to reflect before you respond.

When we get angry, we need to get in the habit of stepping back, waiting a few minutes, and looking at the situation from God’s point of view. Notice the Bible says a wise man lets his anger cool down (Proverbs 29:11). So ‘cool it’ is a Biblical term! A modern translation might be: “The wise man waits and chills out.” Thomas Jefferson, the author of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”

While you’re cooling down, ask yourself three questions to help you understand why you are angry:

– Why am I angry?
– What do I really want?
– How can I get it?
– What will being angery do for me?

Understanding the reason for your anger will give you greater patience and, perhaps, even the ability to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11).

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For decades, every summer, welcoming his scholarship players, Alabama coaching legend, Paul “Bear” Bryant, asked: “Have you called your folks to thank them?  No one ever got to this level of excellence in football without the help of others.”

conversationsBryant didn’t just appreciate the importance of other people in the development of a young athlete; he wanted the athletes to appreciate it too.  Such appreciation is also a lesson in leadership.  Nobody becomes a successful leader unless others want you to be; you need help; and part of your growth as a leader is to recognize and show appreciation for that help. 

But you’ll give your leadership and ultimately your career a real boost by extending your appreciation not just to the people you like and who are on your side but also to the people you may dislike: the difficult people in your life, those people who for right or wrong reasons cause you grief. 

One of the most effective ways of dealing with them is to appreciate them.  I mean truly appreciate them.  When you do, you may find that you are dealing with them in surprisingly productive ways. 

The word “appreciation” comes from a Latin root meaning “to apprehend the value.”  In other words, your appreciation of difficult people must be centered on your genuine understanding of the value they offer  you and your organization.

You are not just understanding their point of view.  You are actually appreciating it; and you are using that appreciation as a tool to get more results, more results than if the difficult people had not entered your life. Otherwise, your appreciation, at least as far as leadership is concerned, is a waste of time.

Here’s a four step process to make appreciation a results-generator.

(1) Team up.  To get appreciation rolling, know that you must be a team, you and the difficult person, in the development of it.  Mind you, you’re not trying to get the difficult person to appreciate you. You have little control over the other’s appreciation.  You do, however, have control over yours.  So, focus on cultivating yours.  That cultivation happens only in a relationship — a team relationship with the other person, not necessarily a personal relationship.  In a team-relationship, you don’t have to like the other person.  You simply have to work with them — actively and wholeheartedly, irrespective of personal feelings.  And the goal of your team is to forge out of the difficulties you’re having with one another a leadership process that achieves results.  

(2) Identify.  When you’re dealing with a difficult person, you’re often entangled in strong emotions.  The first thing to do is, with the person’s help in a face-to-face meeting, get at the precise causes of the difficulties.  Try to remove yourself from your emotional entanglements. “Break down” what’s happening the way football coaches break down the plays of opposing teams studying game films.  This breaking down is a collaborative process, and it should go like this: First, have the person describe the exact moments when you were having trouble with each other.  It’s important to keep focused simply on the physical facts of those moments. What were the specific actions and words that triggered the emotions? When the person gives h/her side of the story then and only then can you give yours.  Only when both of you are clear as to those moments and agree on what took place can you start to talk with each other about your feelings connected to those moments of physical action.

For instance, that person may contend you are not listening to what h/she says to you.  Have the person describe the exact moment when you were not listening.  Where were you?  What was being said?  Precisely, what gave that person that impression?   

(3) Agree.  You and the person must agree on what is important in regard to the difficulties you are having.  A gap between what you think is important and what the other person thinks must be closed.  The test in closing it is results.  Does the difficulty you are having with the person go right to the heart of the results you need to achieve?

The person says you don’t listen.  Do you agree?  Is that person’s perception important?  Until you can come to agreement as to whether you were or were not listening and the importance of that, you’ll continue to have difficulties.  Which means you won’t be able to go to the next, and most important, step.

(4)Transform.  Transform the specific into a results process, a process that will get you increases in results. Without such a process, the previous steps are useless.  For instance, let’s say you both come to an agreement that you need to be more attentive when the person is speaking.  Then, you might develop a “listening process.”  Such a process may involve applying “continuers.” This is a process taught in medical schools to help overbearing doctors be more empathetic with their patients.  When interacting with patients, the doctors are taught to say, “uh huh” three times when the other person is talking before saying a word.  

Of course, “continuers” are one of many listening processes you can draw on. And clearly, “not listening” is one of many problems one might have with the people you lead.  Whatever process you come upon in whatever difficulty you are having with people, that process must achieve specific increases in results — more results than if you had not used the process. 

As for the “not listening” example: You may pick out one actionable item from what was being said that can lead to results increases. I worked with a leader who did this.  Several people he led accused him of ignoring them, and consequently those people were bucking his leadership.  They all sat down around a conference table and went through this four-step process.  They developed a process to actively and systematically listen to one another and come to agreement on what was spoken and what was heard.  Then they selected actionable particulars that came out of their communication.  They made sure they followed through on implementing those particulars to achieve increases in hard, measured results.

Like the poor, the people who cause us difficulties will always be with us. No matter how experienced and successful you are as a leader, difficult people will always be lined up outside your door, wanting into your life.  Moreover, there are probably a lot of them inside the door too, trying to cut you down to size, thwart your plans, besmirch your reputation.

Instead of clashing with them or avoiding them, try appreciating them.  When you use this process, you may find that they’re not liabilities but assets.

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Who would forget the ever-famous line of Peter Parker’s grandfather, “With great power comes great responsibility.” The society expects Spiderman, a comic book, TV, and movie superhero, to be responsible for saving his town, or even the world, in some instances, from evil because he has super powers.

From all the episodes he appeared in, he never let us down. With the power he possesses, he makes sure to be responsible in using it for the good of the people around him.abc of leadership

Leadership is not at all different from being superheroes. Yes, you may not have super powers like Superman and Spiderman, but you have the authority to lead other people towards success. This is so much greater and stronger since it is a power that can be used by real people in this real world.

Hence, being a leader requires great sense of responsibility, the second quality a successful leader should attain.

The power to lead your people towards aiming your vision comes with responsibilities like making sure they are on the right direction, being aware of each and everyone’s tasks and mistakes, and putting them back on the right track when they get lost.

Who said it is easy to be a leader? Well, it is not…It comes with tons of responsibilities. True leaders are willing to accept them all.

There are instances where sometimes it makes us feel better to blame somebody or something else when something goes wrong in a task. However, this should not be practiced, especially by a good leader!

A leader should take full responsibility of a task – not just before he accepts to take it, but also after it has been accomplished. As much as he is responsible for his team’s success, he should also be responsible for any failure. He represents the whole team so whatever happens to it, he is the one responsible.

Making excuses and blaming something or someone else for failed jobs is not a quality of a good leader. What he should do, instead, is to accept the fact that something went wrong with the organization, even if it is not his fault. It is normal to make mistakes. In fact, mistakes are opportunities to learn something better. As a leader, he must ensure that the team members learn from these mistakes and that these errors will not be repeated next time.

You may not have full control over other people and are not expected to have full control over their actions, but you have full control of your own reactions. Knowing what to do over unexpected and unpredictable situations will make you responsible, hence giving you the feeling of power.

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Why Coaching is Better Than Teaching in the MLM world.coaching

When you hear the word “coach”, what comes first into your mind? Do you picture a basketball team with a man/woman shouting out directions? Or perhaps a football team with a man/woman pacing to and fro and calling out the names of the players?

Coaching is no longer reserved to sports teams; it is now one of the key concepts in leadership and management. Why is coaching popular?
 
Coaching levels the playing field.

Coaching is one of the six emotional leadership styles proposed by Daniel Goleman. Moreover, it is a behavior or role that leaders enforce in the context of situational leadership. As a leadership style, coaching is used when the members of a group or team are competent and motivated, but do not have an idea of the long-term goals of an organization. This involves two levels of coaching: team and individual. Team coaching makes members work together. In a group of individuals, not everyone may have nor share the same level of competence and commitment to a goal. A group may be a mix of highly competent and moderately competent members with varying levels of commitment. These differences can cause friction among the members. The coaching leader helps the members level their expectations. Also, the coaching leader manages differing perspectives so that the common goal succeeds over personal goals and interests. In a big organization, leaders need to align the staffs’ personal values and goals with that of the organization so that long-term directions can be pursued.

Coaching builds up confidence and competence.

Individual coaching is an example of situational leadership at work. It aims to mentor one-on-one building up the confidence of members by affirming good performance during regular feedbacks; and increase competence by helping the member assess his/her strengths and weaknesses towards career planning and professional development. Depending on the individual’s level of competence and commitment, a leader may exercise more coaching behavior for the less-experienced members. Usually, this happens in the case of new staffs. The direct supervisor gives more defined tasks and holds regular feedbacks for the new staff, and gradually lessens the amount of coaching, directing, and supporting roles to favor delegating as competence and confidence increase.

Coaching promotes individual and team excellence.

Excellence is a product of habitual good practice. The regularity of meetings and constructive feedback is important in establishing habits. Members catch the habit of constantly assessing themselves for their strengths and areas for improvement that they themselves perceive what knowledge, skills, and attitudes they need to acquire to attain team goals. In the process, they attain individually excellence as well. An example is in the case of a musical orchestra: each member plays a different instrument. In order to achieve harmony of music from the different instrument, members will polish their part in the piece, aside from practicing as an ensemble. Consequently, they improve individually as an instrument player.

Coaching develops high commitment to common goals.

A coaching leader balances the attainment of immediate targets with long-term goals towards the vision of an organization. As mentioned earlier, with the alignment of personal goals with organizational or team goals, personal interests are kept in check. By constantly communicating the vision through formal and informal conversations, the members are inspired and motivated. Setting short-term team goals aligned with organizational goals; and making an action plan to attain these goals can help sustain the increased motivation and commitment to common goals of the members.

Coaching produces valuable leaders.

Leadership by example is important in coaching. A coaching leader loses credibility when he/she cannot practice what he/she preaches. This means that a coaching leader should be well organized, highly competent is his/her field, communicates openly and encourages feedback, and has a clear idea of the organization’s vision-mission-goals. By vicarious and purposive learning, members catch the same good practices and attitudes from the coaching leader, turning them into coaching leaders themselves. If a member experiences good coaching, he/she is most likely to do the same things when entrusted with formal leadership roles.

Some words of caution though: coaching is just one of the styles of leadership. It can be done in combination with the other five emotional leadership styles depending on the profile of the emerging team. Moreover, coaching as a leadership style requires that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally fit most of the time since it involves two levels of coaching: individual and team. Your members expect you to be the last one to give up or bail out in any situation especially during times of crises. A coaching leader must be conscious that coaching entails investing time on each individual, and on the whole team. Moreover, that the responsibilities are greater since while you are coaching members, you are also developing future coaches as well.

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